Former MI5 Chief finally gets it

THE former head of MI5 last night finally twigged that thing the rest of us realised about seven years ago.

Dame Stella Rimington said the government was exploiting the public's fear of terrorism to restrict civil liberties, before pointing out that Top of the Pops isn't on anymore either.

She told a Spanish newspaper: "I was having a cup of tea and a scone when it suddenly occurred to me - all these things they're doing might not be about terrorism after all.

"Maybe, right, they're just trying to scare us, yeah?… so we'll let them take away our freedom, yeah?… all the while believing that it's really for our own good... d'you see?

"Then it all just totally clicked into place. Introducing ID cards will do nothing to stop bombs. Giving the police the power to arrest you because you have a beard will do nothing to stop bombs.

"Restricting freedom of speech and locking up brown people without trial will do nothing to stop bombs.

"And what the bloody hell's happened to Top of the Pops?"

Dame Stella added: "Admittedly it might have been better if I'd realised all of this a tad earlier. But not to worry, now that I'm just an ordinary citizen I can really do something about it."

from the DAILY MASH